Let’s say aliens with pointy ears and bowl-cuts land in your backyard. You want to make a good first impression, right? You want them to they welcome us into the galactic community instead of annihilating us with space lasers, right? How are you going to greet them? A handshake? A salute? A $5 off coupon to the Sizzler? NO! You show ’em how we do it on EARTH! You slap that bad boy a SCI-FIVE! Slap it so hard his mamma feels it back on the home world.

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